Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Google, the parenting expert?

When Alie was first born, I thought I was ready for anything. After all, I had read so many books, blogs, and message boards about parenting that I knew how to handle any situation.   I knew how to get my kid to sleep (drowsy but awake right, doesn't that always work??), how to give her a bath (cotton balls to clean eyes??), and  how to handle colic (colic hold, loud shushing...etc).  Plus, I had many people who were willing to help by giving advice if something did come up that I hadn't read about.  I remember my Mum saying "In my day, babies didn't come with instruction manuals," and I thought about how lucky I was that I knew everything already. Well, as all experienced moms know, most of the 'advice' you read or are told is quickly thrown out once your baby is actually in your arms. But, the advice keeps coming, from both welcome and unwelcome sources.  It seems that EVERYONE has an opinion on what should be done in any situation. Now I know that it is important to take all the well intentioned advice, but only to use what I believe will work for our family in our situation, otherwise I will drive myself crazy with what 'should' be done, rather than what is best for us.

Recently I was reading a parenting magazine (yet another source of advice), and came across an article that reminded me that I was not alone, and that it is okay for me to take pieces of advice from everywhere to form my own method of parenting. The article titled "Parenting by download" discussed using Google as a way to find quick answers to parenting questions, and wow, could I ever resonate with that.  I have been Googling (can I use it as a verb?) everything lately about parenting, from growth spurts to red dots on face/arms, age to start discussing how babies are born (I've been getting this question from Alie lately) to baby sleep habits, its all on Google. My advice, don't do it!! That is, unless you want to feel totally useless as a parent.  Google will dutifully come up with thousands of hits, and then you have to sort through what is opinion and what is fact, and it seems like everyone has a very strong opinion one way or another.  'Getting baby to sleep' has been my worst choice as of late.  Unless you have Googled it, you have no idea how strong the opinions are on this topic.  Each side will make you feel like a terrible parent for not taking their side, and make it sound like you will be forever wounding your child if you choose the opposite. At least people in real life have common decency to give advice and then back off.  It seems like the internet lets people have opinions and make judgments without having to worry about other's feelings or situations. I learned from this entire experience that I will not find all my answers on Google.  In fact, I need to make decisions based on what is happening in my house right now with my children, because no one else knows our exact circumstance enough to fully give sound advice, especially random people on the internet.

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